Episode 42: Druthers, CA

https://assets.fireside.fm/file/fireside-images/podcasts/images/5/5b98cd23-82a1-456c-8b79-5a6f36ecd015/episodes/b/b4c472d3-440f-4b45-9c84-3b745acc94e1/header_small.jpg?ver=1

Welcome to Druthers, CA! Here are some tips for
making the most of your visit with us:


• Yes. Keep checking your mailbox. No, again. Faster. Now, pay it
forward.
• DO not touch the princess anywhere that her swimsuit would
cover.
• No sighing in the doughnut line.
• Just stop tapping your goddamned foot fer chrissakes.
• Uncle Blackman’s Enthusiastic Antebellum Sprinting Adventure is
closed for renovation until further notice.
• Keep a sharp eye out for “Hidden Deppies”
• Climbing on the Leon Uris shelf is strictly prohibited.
• No insie-outsies on “Lock-In Night.”
• Only children under 42 inches in height are permitted to romp
in Erma’s Cherry Bowl—and each child MUST be accompanied by a non
tripping-balls parent.
• SORRY! After June 7, 1998, Arlo’s “Shuck Bux” will no longer be
honored.
• Thank you in advance for not discussing disused aspect
ratios.
• Cut line early on rides you like. Lines are for babies.
• The Sacristy is not there for making-out.
Sacristy only likes you as a friend—and not actually all that
much to be honest.
• PLEASE don’t slam your locker door.
• Q*bert ALWAYS hits on “16.” You may double-down on aces and
Robotron.
• The Parade will NOT stop in the event you are injured by a
Moog.
• SHAME on you. Seriously.